They say history was written by the winners
But really, it was the dullards taking notes
Pages and pages of the same old folks
George Washington, seen him before
Cleopatra, yawn, here we go again
And don’t get me started on all those
Film class textbooks about D.W. Griffith
Stop mentioning the racist, chrissakes
What about the absurdly hungry Frenchmen?
Or the English noble who invented the sandwich?
If you ask anyone about Jean-Eugene Robert-Houdin
The father of modern conjuring and magic acts, they’ll say
“Oh yeah, that’s pretty cool, uh huh, neat”
Which is why I say to all my fellow historical fanatics
For godssakes, don’t just read the pages as they
Are being presented to you over and over again
If you truly want to make the most out of our time
On this planet, as idiotic as man might have spent it
Instead, look at the margins and the footnotes
Go to the very back of the book if you need to
Because some peoples stories deserve to be told
Like that guy who shot a cactus which then fell on him
Or, let’s be honest, any of those female heroes
Who haven’t been mentioned cause guys
Think they’re soooooo special and important
Speaking as a guy, yeah yeah
Glass houses and all that
But still though!
Look in the margins
I beg of you
Just look in the margins
There are restless souls there
Who need the company